In this edition of Ask the Expert, Coby Kozlowski, a life coach, expressive-arts therapist, and Kripalu School of Yoga faculty member, answers questions about trusting your instincts, making big decisions, and finding the right life coach for you.
I’m feeling stuck in my job. Any tips on how to figure out if this is a good time to move on?
Both staying and going are practices, and there will be lessons on both paths. There’s no right or wrong decision; yogic philosophy simply asks that you tolerate the consequences of whatever decision you make. There are practical considerations, of course: Are you valued at work? Is it wise to leave your job if you have a family to support? But it comes down to how loud the knocking is, and what it is that’s knocking. If the knocking continues, you’ll eventually make the choice to follow that call.
I’ve thought of going to a life coach, but I’m not sure how to choose the right person. How do I find someone who’s credible and capable?
Credentials don’t matter to me as much as whether it feels right. Do you like them, do you resonate with their way of being and living, do you feel a connection? Every life coach should offer free consultations or sample sessions. I meet with clients for an hour and a half or even two hours before we decide whether we’re going to work together. It has to be a good fit for both of us, because we’re cocreating this experience.
I have a hard time trusting my instincts. How do I grow more confident?
Practice, practice, practice! What would it be like to say yes to all your instincts for a week? What would show up? How different would your life be? Put yourself into the experiment of living: Feel what it’s like to flex that muscle, see what happens, and practice not being too attached to the outcome. That’s how we rewire our brains and get new perspectives on how we see and experience life. The practice of yoga invites us to trust life and trust what comes naturally. We’re instinctual beings—that’s the evolutionary impulse that got us to stand up on two legs!
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