Thrive

Posted on May 19th, 2012 by in Healthy Living

A Happier Life

An excerpt from Being Happy: You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Lead a Richer, Happier Life by Tal Ben-Shahar

Some version of the Golden Rule, reminding us to not do unto others as we would not have done unto ourselves, finds its way into most moral codes, be they secular or religious. It is with our neighbor that the Golden Rule is concerned. But what about ourselves? The Golden Rule takes the love of self for granted—the self is used as the standard for the love of others, how we treat the “I” as the standard for how we treat our fellow men and women. The sages, however, generally ignored the fact that we don’t all love ourselves, or, rather, that many of us fall out of love with ourselves once we are old enough to turn our critical impulse, the faultfinder, inward.

We rarely condemn others for their fallibility but routinely refuse to accept our own humanity. As Diane Ackerman points out, “No one can live up to perfection, and most of us do not often expect it of others; but we are more demanding with ourselves.” Why the double standard, the generosity toward our neighbor and the miserliness where we ourselves are concerned? And so I propose that we add a new rule, which we can call the Platinum Rule, to our moral code: “Do not do unto yourself what you would not do unto others.”

Taking as a standard our behavior toward others can help us recognize irrational, destructive attitudes toward ourselves. Would you criticize your partner if she gave a less-than-perfect speech? Would you think any less of your best friend if he did not do well on an exam? If your daughter or father did not earn first place in a competition, would their imperfect record diminish your love for them? Probably not. And yet when we ourselves fall short, we often regard ourselves as wholly inadequate, utter failures.

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Posted on May 17th, 2012 by in Life Lessons

On the Road to Querencia

J.L. Johnson, Guest Blogger

I don’t know exactly when or how I came across the Spanish word querencia. Like torschlusspanik and esprit de l’escalier, it simply appeared as one of those foreignisms I’d scribbled down on scrap paper, marking a handy little bridge from feeling to expression that my own language—despite its sprawling infrastructure of a million or so words—had forgotten to build.

Broadly translated, querencia describes a place where you feel most at home. Its literal meaning comes from the world of bullfighting, where querencia refers to “that mysterious little area in the bullring that catches the fancy of the fighting bull when he charges in,” as one writer describes it. “He imagines it his sanctuary … there, he supposes he cannot be hurt.”

That connotation of animal instinct is much of what makes querencia an especially powerful word for me. But instead of a bull in its lair, I think of little Mole in The Wind in the Willows, as he catches the scent of his old burrow while traveling a country road:

[It] suddenly reached Mole in the darkness, making him tingle through and through with its very familiar appeal, even while as yet he could not clearly remember what it was. He stopped dead in his tracks, his nose searching hither and thither in its efforts to recapture the fine filament, the telegraphic current, that had so strongly moved him. A moment, and he had caught it again … Home!

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Posted on May 16th, 2012 by in Creative Corner

Creativity Corner

“I painted this during a time in my life when I felt like I was under water. Addiction had riddled my life with heartache, misery, and pain. I would float, feeling like I was close to the surface, but would continually be pulled under by my inability to control my obsession.” ~Django Hulphers, musician

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Posted on May 13th, 2012 by in Moment of Quiet

Moment of Quiet with Fresh Dandelions

Every Sunday we provide a space for quiet, calm, and peaceful introspection. Enjoy this week’s Moment of Quiet. Happy Mother’s Day!

The dandelions are in full bloom here in the Berkshires. Did you know that dandelion greens are a nutritious way to get a hearty dose of vitamins and minerals?

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Posted on May 10th, 2012 by in Relationships

Bonding Over Backbends

The self-reflective environment at Kripalu is conducive to teaching you valuable lessons about yourself. But it’s also an amazing experience to share with someone else. The first time I came to Kripalu, I brought my boyfriend, Mike. He’d only done yoga once, but he had gotten a glimpse of its potential to improve his well-being and was eager to learn more. He embraced learning more about his body and his breath as we spent a rejuvenating weekend together eating well, practicing yoga, and enjoying the peace. We were happy to find that Kripalu emphasizes a balanced approach to wellness, not just yoga. I remember the two of us being out on the lake, kayaking, and participating in what we called a floating meditation. It was just beautiful, with the quiet mental space that we cultivated together out on the water.

That weekend inspired us to begin a regular yoga practice together. We found a studio near our house in Boston and made an effort to take weekly classes, making room in our lives for a healthful and rewarding routine. Going to yoga as a couple gave us the extra motivation we needed to keep up a regular practice. We also decided we would like to continue going to Kripalu for R&R retreats when we could fit it into our schedules.

A few days into our 2009 stay, we were relaxed and centered, and decided to hike a nearby mountain. Once we got to the peak, Mike dropped down on one knee and proposed. Even though I secretly suspected that he might pop the question—he kept patting his pants pocket as we climbed—it was still overwhelming and so emotional to hear him ask me.

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Posted on May 7th, 2012 by in Healthy Living

Embracing the Unknown: Staying Grounded in Uncertain Times

Renée Peterson Trudeau, Guest Blogger

Are you between jobs, homes, relationships? It helps to learn strategies for sitting peacefully in limbo.

These days, we’re facing unprecedented levels of change, uncertainty, and chaos. In this post-September 11 era, in which economic volatility has become a mainstay, we’re juggling parenting our parents, managing dual-income households, navigating globalization and living farther away from our families, fighting off digital overwhelm, and, in many cases, dealing with fallout from natural disasters.

In addition to all these outward changes, we’re also being called on to transform internally. We are undergoing huge consciousness shifts, and many of us are feeling the call to evolve, and to embrace a new way of being. The majority of my friends, colleagues, clients—and even my own family—are all navigating uncertainty and experiencing some type of transition right now:

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Posted on May 6th, 2012 by in Moment of Quiet

Moment of Quiet: Colors in Motion

This week’s Moment Of Quiet is brought to us by Colors in Motion.

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Posted on May 3rd, 2012 by in Healthy Living

Turning Point: Q & A with Chris Martenson, PhD, MBA

Turning Point: Chris Martenson

Chris Martenson, PhD, MBA, is an economic researcher and futurist specializing in energy and resource depletion. He was one of the early econobloggers who forecasted the housing market collapse and stock market correction. Chris and his wife, Becca, are at Kripalu June 29–July 1 to teach Peak Prosperity, based on Chris’ seminal video seminar, The Crash Course.

Q Describe what you do in 15 words or less.

A I am creating a world worth inheriting, which begins by helping individuals build physical, financial, and emotional resilience in their lives.

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