How Women Benefit from Men’s Groups

Ever since there were men’s groups, women have been their best referral source. Women appreciate the struggle men have with emotions and relationships. They suffer along with men.

As soon as a woman understands what EVRYMAN does, inevitably her next comment is," I want my husband, boyfriend, son … to do your training." It’s not just that the woman sees how it could benefit her relationship with the man; she wants this man’s struggle to end. 

Women tell us they can’t continue to be the therapist or only emotional support for their partner. They sense that a man being with other men in an environment of emotional authenticity would be good for a man. Men may also sense it, but because of our lack of models of how to do it and social discouragement to develop these skills, men are hesitant.

Women are left with the question: How do I get my partner to give it a try?

The best path is one of vulnerability. Your partner loves you. He fell in love with you when he was open emotionally. He wants to return to that place, but he doesn’t know how. You can invite him by sharing how much it would mean to you if he gave it a try. 

What EVRYMAN does is simple. We don’t lay down an esoteric methodology. We understand that men need an emotionally safe space with the right direction to experience and learn. Quickly, men go from resistance to delight in finding men that they can be real with. EVRYMAN becomes their weekly emotional workout with their buddies. 

Couples therapist Dalia Anderman, LMFT, shared with us, “Through the lens of the amazing work Evryman has been facilitating in their men group and retreats, I became a much more attuned and skillful therapist, as it helped me understand the core of some of the difficulties men have in their emotional realm.”

“Lives of women will not change until the lives of men come along to have the opportunity to be examined as well,” says the psychologist and best-selling author Esther Perel. “EVRYMAN offers their contribution to this social change. In that, I think it is very important work. It is necessary. And it is necessary for the well-being of all.”

Owen Marcus, cofounder and director of education at Evryman, is a TEDx presenter and author of Grow Up: A Man’s Guide to Masculine Emotional Intelligence.

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