Why I Came to Kripalu: To Create My Own Solo Retreat

For Courtney Hayes, creativity, community, and care are woven into every part of life. A theatre director, producer, designer, and cofounder of an immersive theatre company in Midcoast Maine, Courtney is also a mother who knows firsthand the demands of balancing work, family, and artistic pursuits. In this personal reflection, she shares how a self-created silent retreat at Kripalu offered something she hadn't realized she needed: the space to slow down, listen deeply, and reconnect with herself.

Reset to Rise

As a mom of two teen boys and cofounder of counter/current:collective, an immersive theatre company based in Midcoast Maine, I am always on the move. In our second year, I hit a wall. I realized that I needed to rest, and not at home—there is always another load of laundry to fold or another email to type. I needed to step away from my routines and my everyday life to find the deep rest I needed to recharge my batteries.

I signed up for the Kripalu Retreat & Renewal experience after looking at all their offerings obsessively. Every retreat looked fantastic. And boy do I love a good workshop! I love talking about new ideas and concepts, and working towards a goal in a group. However I knew that in order to disconnect in the way I needed, I had to find silence within myself and do something different than I normally do. So I decided to go on a solo silent retreat of my own creation.

I spent three nights at Kripalu and took a deep dive into my own self. I loved that I could choose my own adventure—take the classes I wanted and rest when I want, no schedule, no requirements. I told the front desk that I wanted to uphold silence on my solo retreat, and they gave me a badge to wear that said “In loving silence”. It was such a gift, I wore it everywhere and got loving smiles in return. I took yoga classes, went to the sauna, hiked, and danced, all with other people, but in my own silence. It was powerful and profound and hard. But I did it, and I learned so much about myself in the process.

And the food! Have I mentioned the food yet? I felt so nourished by each thoughtful meal, and loved that breakfast was in silence. I realized how important it is to take the time to eat and digest. I tend to be a burnt toast by the side of the laptop kind of eater, and this simple and fully human experience of sitting down and eating slowly has reoriented my brain.

I left Kripalu with a new sense of self, with some big questions answered and a new fire to keep making art and loving my life. I am continuing my practice of eating slowly, and the time spent in silence has helped me focus on speaking intentionally and taking time before I answer. It also showed me that not only is it ok to step away from my responsibilities as a parent and business owner, but that it is necessary to reset. I am so grateful to Kripalu for this opportunity, and look forward to my next “total reset” of my own making!