Why Deep Play Is Essential for Kids’ Confidence and Well-Being

In this Q&A, longtime children’s educator Missy Brown explores why deep play and simple mindfulness practices are so powerful for children’s confidence and well-being.

What does “deep play” mean for children, and why is it essential for their growth?

Children often come into the world full of curiosity and wonder. Give them a little space and suddenly the sidewalk becomes lava, the clouds look like dinosaurs, and an afternoon in nature becomes a treasure hunt.

That spirit of imagination is what I call deep play. It’s not rushed or overly structured, and it isn’t about performance or getting something "right." It’s exploratory, relational, and alive. Wiggles are welcome. Jiggles are welcome. It’s often joyfully messy and completely unscripted.

Deep play is the “soul work” of childhood. While the science shows that this kind of play strengthens areas of the brain connected to creativity, decision-making, and resilience—which it absolutely does—the experience for a child feels much simpler and more powerful: a growing sense of agency. A feeling that says, I can try, I can fall, and I can begin again. That inner trust is the soil where true confidence grows.

Over time, these experiences become tools in their inner toolbox, supporting children in developing:

Self-awareness
Self-management
Self-efficacy
Self-soothing
Self-regulation

... all so they can grow into the fullest versions of themselves- perfect and whole, exactly as they are.

How do mindfulness and breathwork foster confidence, resilience, and emotional regulation in kids?

Our breath is always with us. It doesn’t cost anything, needs no special equipment or uniform, and is one of my favorite superpowers! In, out, here, now, bring your attention to just one breath. That’s it.

When we practice mindfulness with children, we invite them to bring gentle attention to the present moment. As they become aware of what they hear, see, smell, feel, or taste, their senses engage. By anchoring their attention in this way, we give them something extraordinary: access to their own inner wisdom.

For children and adults alike, combining breathwork and mindfulness gives us the opportunity to slooooow down …. slow our heart rate, lower blood pressure, aid digestion and elimination, sharpen focus, invite presence and quiet the mind. In turn, this supports the brain’s ability to rewire pathways and turn off our internal stress response.

When a child learns they can pause and feel their body soften or their mind settle, they experience mastery from the inside out. Over time, these mindful moments begin to weave themselves into the fabric of a child’s day—awakening awareness, empowering choice, and cultivating compassion and empathy that naturally extend outward into the world.

What are some playful, mindful tools parents can use at home to help children feel calmer and more connected?

When a calm, present adult shows up, a child's nervous system finds its way home. Your presence is the most powerful tool you have. Make it playful. Make it a game. Here are a few of my favorites:

Flower Breath: Imagine your hand is a flower. On an inhale, the fingers open and bloom. On the exhale, they close gently. Simple, portable, and magical, especially for little ones.

Balloon Belly Breathing: Put a "breathing buddy" such as a beloved stuffed animal on your child's belly while they lie down. Imagine there’s a balloon in your belly. Take a breath in and notice how your balloon and belly inflate. As you let go of your breath, notice how the balloon and belly deflate. The buddy happily gets a ride up and down.

Bunny Breath: This can be useful when feeling sleepy, needing to energize and for focusing the mind. Inhale four quick breaths through the nose and exhale one slow breath out through the mouth. Practice a few rounds and notice if you begin to feel warmer and more alert.

Shake, Move, and Feel the Hum: Put on a song, dance, and shake it all out. Then pause as if doing a “freeze dance”. Ask them: Can you notice the difference? Can you feel the tingles and sparkles? Guiding children to appreciate the stillness as much as the movement is one of the sweetest gifts we can offer.

Drink It In: Imagine your fingers are drinking straws. Plant your “straws” on any surface: the table, the earth, the car seat. Breathe in and drink in whatever you need—peace, kindness, friendship—from your fingertips right into your heart. Exhale, and send that same word from your heart, through your fingertips, and out to someone else who might need it too. We fill ourselves so we can pour into others.

Why is play such a powerful foundation for children’s self-awareness and inner well-being?

Play isn’t just fun; it’s essential for a child’s growth and development. In play, children experiment with who they are and explore a wide range of feelings in ways that feel safe and welcoming. Through imaginative play and connection with others, children try on life.

Play invites presence and nurtures self-awareness. And self-awareness supports lifelong inner well-being. When we honor a child’s play in all its forms, we support their overall health, emotional balance, and a strong foundation for well-being.

I witness this every day while leading programs for kids. When children are given permission to play deeply—without pressure, without performance—something beautiful unfolds. They soften. They open. They discover who they are.

And I’ll tell you what I know after 25 years of this work: watching the world through the wonder of their eyes is, every single time, my roadmap home to my own heart.